


Let Your Heart Be Light

by MamiRugbee



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV 2020)
Genre: Also it’s me writing so lots of kissing, Angst, But only a little, Established Relationship, F/M, Jukebox, The Christmas fic in March nobody asked for, What’s Christmas without some sads, juke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 14:01:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30039783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MamiRugbee/pseuds/MamiRugbee
Summary: With Christmas approaching, Julie decides she wants to pay a visit to Emily Patterson. Unfortunately, Luke realizes things aren’t exactly how he remembers them.
Relationships: Julie Molina & Luke Patterson, Julie Molina/Luke Patterson
Comments: 32
Kudos: 234





	Let Your Heart Be Light

“I think I want to stop by your mom’s house.” 

Luke looked up from the page in front of him, a pen behind his ear and his eyes wide as he tried to recall if there had been a conversation that had led up to her statement.

It was the Wednesday before Christmas, and one of the coldest days of the week. But the studio stayed fairly warm despite— something the plants housed within thrived on. There was a chill in the air though. The changing weather was something Luke and the boys were becoming more and more sensitive to as they seemed to become more human than ghost. 

As a result, Luke sat on the couch wearing a dark gray pullover sweater and draped in a flannel blanket as he looked over the lyrics he and Julie had just finished up minutes before. 

They had been working in companionable silence up until Julie’s announcement. 

“What?” He asked, looking at Julie as she watered the plants in front of them. “My mom?” 

Julie looked back at him with a smile, a brow arched in amusement. “Yeah, your mom,” she laughed. “I want to bring her something, you know, since it’s almost Christmas.” 

“Why?” Luke asked, leaning back on the couch. There was no rejection in his tone— only curiosity over the sudden change in direction. Julie set the watering can down and walked over to him, wringing her hands. 

“I don’t know. Now that I’ve met her, it just seems like a nice thing to do,” she said as she fell onto the couch next to him, folding her legs underneath herself and accepting the invitation to snuggle closer when Luke lifted an arm. His fingers fiddled with the loose strands of hair at the base of her neck, absentmindedly stroking as she rested her head in the crook of his neck. 

“Hmm,” Luke hummed, considering her answer. 

“Do you want to come with me?” 

Julie tilted her head up watching the way his hazel eyes instantly met hers. He seemed to consider it for a second, or so she thought, until his gaze dropped to her lips and lingered there with intent. 

“Luke,” she grumbled. 

“Yeah, I’ll go,” he answered simply, smiling at her annoyance. “Sorry, got a little distracted.” 

“Just a little distracted, huh?” Julie teased as he dropped a soft kiss to her forehead. 

“Just a smidge, boss,” he said with a chuckle before turning back to the lyrics in his other hand. “What did you get her?”

“I don’t know _what_ to give her yet,” Julie answered, shaking her head. “I was hoping you could help me.” 

“Hmm...” Luke’s eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he tried to think of things his mom might like. “I don’t know— never knew what to give my mom. I’d just make her stuff.”

“Make her stuff?” Julie repeated, amusement in her voice. “Like music?”

Luke’s nose scrunched up as he made a face at her. “Nah, Jules. Like my handprint on a plate and stuff. You know, like they do in grade school.”

Julie burst out laughing, shoving at his chest playfully. “I didn’t mean when you were five, Luke. I meant when you were older.”

Luke gave her a look of mock-offense.“So am I! I put a lot of work in those things, Jules,” he joked, enjoying the sound of her responded laughter in his ears. “I dunno, Julie. She loves flowers and stuff like that.”

“Flowers? Like roses?” Julie asked curiously, reaching up toward his hand on her shoulder so she could thread her fingers through his. 

“Nah, she was never a big fan of roses, actually. She loved dahlias.” 

Julie’s eyes widened, and she pulled away from him so she could face him fully. “Your mom’s favorite flowers are dahlias?” She asked.

“The big floofy ones that grow from those little balls?” Luke thought aloud. “I’m pretty sure they're dahlias.”

“Yeah,” Julie confirmed, smiling at the irony of it all. “Those were my mom’s favorite too.”

Luke smiled widely at her, pulling her back down and against him. “They would have gotten along. My mom loved talking about those things. She used to talk to them, saying that happy flowers had the brightest blooms— or somethin’ like that.” 

Julie laughed. “Yeah they would have. I have some tubers in a bag over there… do you think she would like that?” 

Luke nodded his head, turning his attention toward his lyrics again. “Yeah, she would love it.” 

“Good!” Julie said, patting him on the thigh. She pushed up from her seat, ignoring the yelp of protest coming from Luke. 

“Hey, where are you going? I was comfortable!” Luke whined, setting the notebook down. Julie laughed, turning back around for long enough to give him a peck on the lips. 

“I’m going to put some tubers together. So we can take them to her.”

“We’re going today?” Luke asked, watching as Julie walked over to her garden again. 

“Yeah. Christmas is in a couple days, I don’t want to put it off.”

Luke pushed himself up from the couch as well, hopping over to where Julie was, a grin on his face. “You’re going to love her house, Jules. She always goes all out when the holidays come. She always decks the house out—and her tree? There were some years I didn’t even see a tree because of all the ornaments she would put on there!” 

Luke’s excitement was infectious, and Julie couldn’t help but smile along with him. “I bet it's gorgeous.” 

Luke chuckled, ducking his head to press another kiss to her temple. “It’s damn near like Rockefeller.” 

***

It wasn’t much later when Julie and Luke had made their way up to the Patterson home, gift in hand. Initially, Julie had been bursting with excitement but as she approached the home, she began to feel stirrings of nervousness. 

The last time she had been here had been quite an emotional time, and she couldn’t help but wonder if Emily’s memory of their parting was as pleasant as she remembered it. 

“You look nervous,” Luke said simply, his hand clasped firm in hers. “You don’t have to worry— my mom is going to love the gift.”

Julie smiled at his concern. It always amazed her how Luke— the same Luke Alex sometimes joked about having the emotional capacity of a door— was so often in tune with how she was feeling. It hadn’t been that way in the beginning, both dealing with too many things to properly be aware of the other’s needs. But once they found their rhythm, everything seemed to just click in place. 

“I know your mom will love it,“ Julie replied as they rounded the corner and began walking up the driveway of his parent’s home. “I’m just hoping seeing me won't bring back bad memories.”

Luke raised a brow at her before nudging her with his shoulder. “What? Are you kidding? There’s no way anything about that visit was anything other than special to her.” 

Julie nodded, coming to a stop in front of the door. In her mind, she knew what he was saying was true, but she couldn’t help the anxiety that gnawed at her nerves. 

“Don’t worry, Jules. It’s going to be fine. We wanted to do this.” 

Julie nodded, taking a deep breath. Deciding it was now or never, Julie pushed the door bell with a quick jab of her finger, glancing over at Luke who stood unwaveringly at her side. Luke was still, hazel eyes wide and attentive as he watched the door. Despite Luke’s encouraging words, and the fact that she was certain he came here often, Julie was surprised to see him look as vulnerable as he did.

“Are _you_ ok?” Julie whispered, her fingers reaching out to grasp the hem of his sweater. Luke’s eyes met hers for a brief second before gaving her a quick nod. 

“Yeah,” he responded as he captured her hand, his calloused fingers sliding across hers. “Yeah, fine. It’s just...“ he chuckled, shaking his head at a passing thought. 

“Just what?”

“This is probably the closest I’m going to get to bringing a girl home for the holidays, huh?” 

Caught off guard, Julie opened her mouth to respond but was ultimately interrupted by the sound of metal sliding across metal. The door opened gently, the curious face of Emily Patterson appearing from behind the door. A look of recognition passed over her face, and she smiled. 

“Hi, Mrs. Patterson,” Julie said quickly, thankful for the reassuring squeeze from the hand that held hers. “Sorry, you may not remember me but I’m—“

“Julie,” Emily interrupted, her smile widening as she pushed the door wider. “Yes, I remember you! Of course I remember you. You brought me my Luke’s song earlier this year.”

Julie could hear the sharp inhale from the ghost beside her as she nodded at Luke’s mother, a wide smile on her own face. “Yes!” She confirmed, holding the small package closer to her chest. “I’m sorry to intrude so close to the holidays, but I wanted to bring this to you and wish you a Merry Christmas.” 

Julie held out the small package as Emily smiled widely at her. “Oh, Julie, you shouldn’t have.” She said, taking the gift from Julie’s hands. “Oh, I’m so sorry, I have nothing to give you. But I have some tea brewing, and I just took some cookies out of the oven,” Emily nodded her head toward the inside of her home, a gesture that oddly reminded Julie of Luke. “Mitch is at work, and it’d be lovely to have some company.”

“Oh!” Julie started, glancing quickly to her side at Luke’s sigh of _‘cookies’_ from beside her. She didn’t want to intrude, but Emily smiled in such a convincing way, and Luke's words from just moments ago echoed in her mind. 

_‘This is probably the closest I’m going to get to bringing a girl home for the holidays, huh?’_

“I’d love to!” Julie said, and she felt Luke’s eyes on her instantly. 

Emily sighed in appreciation, and pushed the door open wide to usher her in. “Wonderful, come in!” 

Julie stepped across the threshold and was surprised to find the house exactly as she remembered it. It normally wouldn’t have been something to concern her at all, but as she looked around she couldn’t help but notice that one thing that was off. 

“Why hasn’t she decorated?” Luke said suddenly, his voice loud in her ears as he walked past her, glancing around the room. His brow was furrowed as he walked into the sitting area, staring at the fireplace as though expecting the decor to magically appear. His eyes met hers and Julie felt the knot in her throat grow when she saw the glassiness in them. 

“Go ahead and have a seat, Julie!” Emily said, pulling out a dining room chair. “I just need to grab the tea and cookies.” 

Julie looked again towards the fireplace where Luke was anxiously threading his fingers through his hair, before following Emily to the chair. 

“Thank you,” Julie said, Luke rushing to her side and falling into the seat next to her as she sat down.

“Jules, Christmas is my mom’s favorite holiday. Like, she couldn’t even wait to get past Thanksgiving before she’d be making me pull the decorations out. This isn’t like her.” He looked over to see his mom’s back turned from them, before he ducked his head closer. “You don’t think…?”

Julie could hear the unsaid words as easily as if he had spoken them aloud. Out of the corner of her eye she could also see Emily returning, so she tried to give Luke the most empathetic look she could muster before sliding her fingers across the table and over his. 

“Alright! I have Italian Wedding Cookies and some tea,” Emily announced, setting a plate of little white balls onto the table. Luke groaned loudly, as his mother set a mug in front of Julie, dropping his face into his hands. 

“Italian Wedding Cookies are my _favorite_ ,” he sighed, leaning forward to smell them. “Jules, you gotta bring some home with you. I want one so bad!” 

“You don’t even eat!” Julie pointed out, forgetting about Emily. 

“What was that?” Emily asked, looking up from stirring her tea with confusion etched on her face. 

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I’m not gonna try! All day if I have to!” Luke said, gesturing wildly toward the pile. 

Julie pointedly avoided meeting his gaze as she cleared her throat. “I said these almost look too good to eat!” 

“Nice!” Luke whispered, complimenting her save. 

Emily perked up at this as she raised her mug up to her lips. “Thank you, Julie. They were actually my son’s favorite. It was my grandmother’s recipe and I make them every year.”

Luke smiled at that as he leaned back, his arm moving to rest on the back of her chair as she reached over to take one. Julie could feel him watching her as she brought the pastry to her lips. She was really intending on being as discreet as possible, not wanting to torture him more than she needed to, but when the sweetness hit her tastebuds, she couldn’t help but moan aloud. 

“Oh!” She exclaimed, closing her eyes as she experienced the flavor. Behind her she could hear Luke make a choking noise. “These are so delicious!” 

Emily chuckled over the rim of her mug, shaking her head. “My son used to do the exact same thing. He would make so much noise when he’d eat them— he’d have finished the whole plate in one sitting if I let him.”

Julie reached for another cookie, shaking her head. “I can’t blame him. These are so good Mrs. Patterson.” 

Emily smiled at that. “Thank you.” She reached over to pick up the package that she had set at the table and glanced up at Julie. “Do you mind if I open this now?” 

Mouth full, Julie shook her head, gesturing at her to go ahead. 

As Emily began pulling apart the tape, Julie could feel Luke’s hand rest on her shoulder as he leaned forward to watch eagerly. When the last pieces of wrapping paper came off and the lid opened to reveal the soil inside, Julie set down her tea. 

“They’re dahlia tubers,” Julie explained, watching as Emily’s eyes lit up. “From our garden. It was my mom’s favorite flower.”

“They’re mine too,” Emily said softly, her finger tracing the rim of the box. She set it down, glancing up at Julie in appreciation. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” 

Emily replaced the lid gently and sat it down at the table again. “Your mom has good taste. I’d love to meet her too, if she’d like? We could talk flowers— maybe trade tips.”

At the mention of Julie’s mother, Luke’s hand slid down her back, rubbing the space between her shoulder blades reassuringly. Julie smiled sadly at his mother, swallowing the knot that had suddenly formed in her throat.

“I wish you could,” Julie said quietly, a kind smile on her face. “She passed away last year.” 

Emily was quiet as she registered Julie's words, suddenly taken aback by their similar situations. It was only a few seconds before she snapped out of her thoughts. “Oh, dear, I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s ok. I’m ok now,” Julie said, realizing how true the statement rang as the words left her mouth. She hadn’t realized how much better she had felt about everything since reconnecting with her music thanks to Luke, Alex, and Reggie. 

The loneliness had been overwhelming before. Like a void that she constantly felt like she was drowning in despite having so many loved ones around her. It had been a contradicting cage she had put up around herself— one that she desperately didn’t want to suffer from, yet felt as though she had no choice but to endure it. 

But meeting her boys that day had changed her life in ways she would forever be thankful for. She realized now that the pain she underwent was not how she wanted to honor her mother’s memory— not when her mother had gone through the trouble of making sure to leave Julie with so many good and joyful memories to bring her happiness before it was time for her to go. The darkness that seemed to overwhelm her every time she thought of Rose Molina was replaced by a feeling of hope and reassurance. It was as if the music she and Luke made together somehow transformed the memories of her mother into beacons of light. 

Her thoughts were interrupted when Luke’s hand rested on top of hers, giving a gentle squeeze. 

She met Emily’s eyes and was surprised to see the same empathy in her eyes that she had just seen in Luke’s. Making a note to tell him how much he and his mom were alike in that way, Julie reached out, took another cookie, and continued.

“It was really hard before, to keep moving forward when all I wanted to do was stay behind. I stopped playing music for a long time because the thought of doing something we loved doing together— the thought of doing it without her was too painful. But when I came across Luke and his band’s music, it helped me in so many ways,” Julie felt his head rest on her shoulder and his hand squeeze her own tighter. Across from her, Emily watched Julie with attentive eyes, soaking in every hint of her son’s memory. 

“Your mother made music too?” Emily asked quietly. Julie nodded, watching as Emily looked around her home.

“I can understand that feeling, I—” Emily continued softly. She sighed and shook her head, deciding not to elaborate. 

“I left.” Luke suddenly said, his voice thick as he raised his head from Julie’s shoulder. “We fought, and I left home on Christmas Eve.”

Suddenly the pieces came together, and Julie realized exactly why the Patterson home wasn’t decorated as Luke had described it to her. Just like she couldn’t bear to continue her music without her mother, Emily couldn’t find it in her heart to continue this tradition without her son. 

“Playing my piano and writing music again, it was hard. But once I took that first step— when I played, I felt close to her again. I could feel her memory with me, and I knew that she wouldn’t have wanted me to suffer like I was. She would have wanted me to keep going— to keep doing the things that we loved to do together that made our relationship so special. Finding my way back to music was the best way I could do right by my mom, and thank her for the years I had with her.” 

By the end of her speech, Luke was staring at her with the look of deep admiration that he always reserved for her, while Emily sat wide-eyed across from her.

“Those are beautiful words to live by,” Emily said distractedly. 

When Luke’s mother stayed silent, a thoughtful look on her face, Julie began to worry that she might have overstepped. “Sorry, I get very passionate about it,” she added apologetically. Emily shook her head, still distracted. 

“No— not at all. It’s a beautiful story,” Emily smiled at her, patting the table gently. “You know what? Now that I think about it, I do have something for you. Wait here.” 

Emily pushed herself up from the table and walked to the hutch that sat near the entrance. When she disappeared around the corner, Julie looked to Luke curiously. “Are you ok?” 

Luke hesitated, but nodded his head. “I’m fine, it’s just hard. Having to face what I did back then. I shouldn’t have run out on her, but,” he paused, exhaling loudly when his voice cracked. “We should go soon. I don’t know if I can keep seeing her like this.” 

“Sure,” Julie whispered. A moment later Emily rounded the corner, a flat package in her hand, and a sad smile on her face. Julie looked at it curiously, noting how old the paper looked. Emily sighed, and held the package out to her. 

Julie took it from her with interest, her fingers brushing over the cracks and small tears in the wrapping paper, yellowed with age. Luke hovered over her, his face so close she could practically feel the warmth radiating off him. 

“I— this was supposed to be for Luke.” 

Julie and Luke looked up at her in surprise. “What?”

“It was supposed to be a Christmas present for him, but I never got the chance to give it to him. I didn’t have the heart to take it back.”

Julie instantly held it back out to Emily, her eyebrows knotted together. “No, Mrs. Patterson. I can’t accept this.”

“You can,” Emily repeated sternly. She looked at Julie thoughtfully, her eyes softening as she did. “You know, you remind me so much of my son.”

Julie’s eyes widened as she felt a familiar prickling feeling behind them. 

“He was a musician, like you. He was so passionate about it— it was everything to him. He was always about moving forward— living life to its fullest. He would have loved you.” 

The statement was spoken as simply as if she had been commenting on the weather. Even so, as Julie sat there with Luke’s finger’s threaded through hers, she couldn’t help but feel like the statement held a much different weight to her. Luke’s own glossy eyes mirrored hers as they took in his mother’s words. 

“Anyway,” Emily continued, sniffling quietly. “I know if he were here, he would have wanted you to have it.”

Julie opened her mouth to protest, but Luke squeezed her hand again meaningfully. “I do,” he said, leaving no room for further argument. “Take it.”

With a small nod, Julie brought the gift to her heart and wrapped her hands around it. “Thank you, Mrs. Patterson,” she said thickly. 

“Please, call me Emily.”

***

The door clicked behind them as Julie and Luke made their way down the long driveway of the Patterson home. Neither said a word as they rounded the corner, both of them lost in thought over what had occurred moments before. They hadn’t stayed long after their moment with the gift. And when Julie thanked her again for the cookies and announced that she should head back home, Emily similarly thanked her for the company, adding that she had some holiday decorating to do. 

Julie glanced over at Luke, taking in his thoughtful expression as he walked with his eyes to the ground and his hands in his pockets. The gift felt heavy in her hands, still wrapped in the same paper from 1994. Julie wondered if she should give it to Luke instead. It was his gift after all, and even though he had technically died back then, he was still very much here— as solid and as present to her as he had been while he was alive.

“I hope I didn't make anything harder for you— I know that must have been a difficult conversation to hear,” Julie said, trying to catch his attention. Luke offered her no reaction despite the fact that she was certain he had heard her. Instead he looked up, eyeing the tall cypress trees that lined the sidewalks. 

“Sorry if it brought back any bad memories. But I think—”

Suddenly, Luke reached out to grab her hand, tugging her along firmly as he walked them into the cover of the trees.

“Luke, what—” Julie looked at him, surprised by his sudden action. He let go of her hand, turning around as suddenly as he had pulled her, his eyes intense and dark. Before Julie could say another word, his hand came up to cradle the back of her head and he crashed his lips onto hers. 

_Oh_. 

It was the only thought in her head as he pressed one.. two… three firm kisses against her lips, stroking her hair from the base of her neck. Her hands flew to either side of his face when her mind finally caught up, stepping back as she allowed him to push her gently against the tree. She sighed as her lips parted under his ministrations, and he deepened their kiss, his other hand moving from her hip to press into the small of her back. 

He separated from her for a second, her name falling from his lips in fervent whispers. 

_Julie, Julie, Julie_. 

His mouth found hers again, devouring her sighs as she molded her body against his, before he pulled away, breathing heavily as he pressed his forehead against hers. Julie’s eyes were closed as she processed the moment, catching her breath in the same way Luke was. 

“I love you,” he said fiercely, his fingers gripping her hip again. “I haven’t said it, but you know I do, right?” 

Julie nodded. Of course she did. True, he hadn’t said it— neither had she. But she’d known since the night of the Orpheum. They both knew. It was a sentiment that went without saying because their souls had been connected since the first day they met.

“I know,” she said, her fingers brushing against his jawline. “You don't have to say it for me to know.” 

Luke smiled, leaning forward to press a hard kiss on her forehead, exhaling shakily. “When my mom said it— when she said she knew I would love you— I wanted to kiss you right then and there.”

Julie smiled, her arms sliding around his neck to pull him into a closer embrace. Luke buried his face into her shoulder, squeezing her close. Suddenly, Julie remembered the gift in her hands. 

“We should open this,” Julie said, pulling her arms back as Luke stepped away. She flipped the gift over, and immediately noticed the tag on the back. 

“‘So you have somewhere to keep all your dreams,’” Luke murmured, reading the faded cursive. “‘Love, mom.’”

He sighed, moving to sit down on the grass. Julie slid down the trunk as well, sitting beside him as she held the present out to him. Luke shook his head, pushing it back gently to Julie. “Mom gave it to you. It’s yours.” 

“How about we agree to make it ours?” Julie suggested, her fingers tracing the seams with intention. Luke’s eyes gazed into hers, and he nodded, his lip trapped between white teeth. 

With his blessing, Julie pulled the wrapping paper apart as Luke watched curiously. When the final piece was pulled off, Julie almost cried as she took in the sight. Luke laughed, reaching over to smooth his fingers over it. 

It was a black leatherbound notebook— and on the corner was the image of a butterfly resting on a skull. 

“Death and Rebirth,” Luke said in disbelief, his fingers tracing the shape of the butterfly. 

“Or maybe your mom just knew you really liked skulls as decor,” Julie offered, trying to lighten the mood before she started crying. Luke laughed, wrapping an arm around her as she opened the notebook, flipping through the empty pages. 

“Or maybe it’s a sign,” Luke said. 

“A sign?” Julie repeated, turning her face toward him. Luke’s hazel eyes searched hers, a soft smile playing on his lips before his gaze flickered to her mouth. 

“Yeah,” He murmured. He leaned forward, pressing his lips to hers softly— patiently. As he pulled away, his hand rested on top hers, pressing the notebook shut again. 

“A sign for us to start writing down some dreams together.”

**Author's Note:**

> Can you believe I’ve done 2 fics for this fandom? WHO AM I?  
> Anyways special thank you to my dear friend Ela (xxprettylittletimebombxx) for letting listening to me ramble about this fic at all hours, being my beta, and staying up late to edit all my poor grammar! And to my Angry Flower Squad for giving me endless encouragement and support!
> 
> Comments are always appreciated!


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